Happy Birthday Good Sir. My brother from "The House"

One Word Quiz

Got this from someone, won't mention who... You know who you are!


The object of this little exercise is to answer the question using only one word. Give it a try if ya bad!


1. Where is your cell phone?


2. Boyfriend/girlfriend?


3. Your hair ?


4. Your mother?


6. Your favorite thing?


7. Your dream last night?


8. Your favorite drink?


9. Your dream car?


10. The room you're in?


11. Your ex?


12. Your fear?


13. Your favorite number?


14. Where were you last night?


15. What you're not doing right now?


16. Muffins?


17. One of your wish list items?


18. Grew up at?


19. The last thing you did?


20. What are you wearing?


21. Your TV?


22.Your pet or pets?


23. Your computer/laptop?


24.Your Life?


25.Your mood?


26. Missing someone?


27. Neighbors


28? Your best friend


29. Your work?


31. Like someone?


32. Your favorite color?


33. When is the last time you laughed?

First Reactions Quiz

Got this from someone, won't mention who... You know who you are!

This is called “FIRST REACTIONS QUIZ”. You have to type the 1st thing that comes to mind whenever you hear these 35 things. You can’t think and go back and change your answers.

1. Beer


2. McDonalds:


3. Relationships:


4. Purple:


5. Power Rangers:


6. Weed:


7. Steroids:


8. Cartoons:


9. The President:


10. Tupperware:


11. Florida:


12. Santa Claus:


13. Halloween


14. Alice:


15. Grammar:


16: Myspace:


17. Clowns:


18. Marriage:


19. Paris:


20. idk:


21. Redheads:


23. Pass the:


24. One night stand:


25. Donald Trump:


26. Neverland:


27. Pixie:


28. Vanilla ice cream:


29. Hooters:


30. High school musical:


31. Pajamas


32. Woody:


33. Wet Socks:


34. Dogs:


35. Love:

The Pic Says It All!

Slughurlers Galore: A New Choice!!!

This is the Sig Sauer P250. I think my prayers have been answered. The whole trouble with deciding on such a thing is finding the right grip and deciding on what caliber is best for your needs. I need be indecisive no more. This baby has a modular construction. So according to the site, you can change the grips by swapping the polymer frame. Of course this is just the minor added benefit. Since you usually get the grip that fits best on initial purchase. But more important is that you can change the caliber on this baby by swapping out the barrel and clip. I don't think ya heard me. You can have this baby in 9mm, .357SIG, .40S&W and .45ACP without having to buy four guns! This is something indeed...

From The Files Of The Strange

Y'all know I can come up with some really wacky shyt from my travels on the 'net. This right here is one of the strangest... Yet funnest...

Important Warning!

Please click to read notice!

Boob Chart 1

Which of these racks are most like yours?
(there is another list further down if you aren't in this one...)

Trim On Da Trim

How do you get yours trimmed?

Boob Chart 2

What kind of boobs do you have?

Bungee Jumpers Beware!

This is why nude bungee jumping is hazardous!

Mmmm.... Piiieeee....

Yep. Pie! And these two beauties are the first pies that TSSE baked from scratch! As y'all can tell, I done watched one too many Food Network shows judging by the pie on the right!

The top shots are pre-baking shots. The bottom are all cooked.

Andy Rooney Says...

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game , s he doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pan ts making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Wedding Cake?

Please people! If you are gonna put them on a tier and on the table, at least frost them sumbitches! Or at least bake them in an oven that is on a level floor! And not too long in the heat please. And whose Red Kool-Aid is that? And if you think this shyt is crazy, you should see the wedding they came from! I don't wanna put nobody on blast but, they might get posted too...

Slughurlers Galore: Tha Addendum!!!

This is the Springfield Armory XD Compact 9mm. Fits real nice in my paws. Hides real nice. Really pleasing character. One sweet shooting gun this is!

Snow Fun!

As hot as it is right now, this seems like a very cool way to pass the time!

Tagged, yet again!

The rules are to elaborate on the word(s) I've put in bold lettering below.

Accent – What accent? Are you kidding me? I speak a perfect midwestern twang. Mostly correct and slightly southern... I do however have a weakness for women with heavy southern and carribean drawls.

I Don't Drink – Vegetable juice! It ain't juice if there is more salt than sugar! Okay, maybe it is but it ain't good juice!

Chore I Hate – Is this a joke? Who created this thing? Some kinda maidaholic or something? Won't even dignify this one! Like there could ever be a favorite...

Pets – Got one! A big old Pit Bull. Who for some reason insisted on laying beneath my chair for his nap at the moment... And I love fish too! Especially goldfish and Bettas. (they can live to gether and both are hard to kill...)

Essential Electronic – Say it with me... C O M P U T E R!!! It probably is yours too unless you are reading this from a phone.

Perfume/Cologne – Drakkar Noir - Gotta get some of that. Giorgio Red - This stuff is so good I like smelling myself in it! American Classic - Nice and clean. And discontinued. Anything that my wife wears that don't burn my nose hair. Or when she don't wear anything...

Gold or silver – Uh...

Insomnia – Sometimes. Usually depends on what is going on and how strong it is on my mind.

Job Title – Wish I had one at this point. Actually the current one is Home Health Care Provider. The one that I would like to wear again is Programmer/Analyst.

Most Admired Trait – According to the wife it is "The Eyes and the Thighs" Oh yeah, and that good sense of humor. And alleged computer genius...

Kids – Yep.

Religion – Some.

Siblings – Yes. 1.2.2

Time I wake up – Whenever. Whenever somebody else wakes me. Whenever the dog barks too much. Whenever the bladder is full. Whenever I get tired of sleeping... You know, whenever.

Unusual talent/skill – At this time I will invoke my fifth amendment rights...

Vegetable I refuse to eat – Okra. There are likely others but I haven't had those so I can't pick them out.

Worst habit – Lying about what my worst habit is...

X-rays – Glasses? Fa real? I gotta get some of those. I guess that would put Girls Gone Wild outta business since no one would need to buy the videos. Could be a good thing though. You could get a preview of how busted someone is before you waste resources getting them naked...

My favorite meal – One I don't miss. Ideally though, the menu goes a little something like this.
A little bit of:
Ribeye steak (grilled)
Country Rib (grilled)
Salmon Steak (grilled)
Chicken (grilled)
Macaroni and Cheese (Mom's)
Potato Salad (Wife's)
Red Beans and Rice (Zatarain's)
A summer Fruit Bowl (Mine)
and a Diet beverage...

Oh yeah, and a microwave for the reloads!


Tag! You're it: Yazmar, J, Deepnthought, Mz Coko, and Terry

The Real Problem?

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock(MADE IN JAPAN) for 6AM. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA) After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet(MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO ) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with GAS from Saudi Arabia and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer (Made In Malaysia), Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE! France !!) and turned on his TV(MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in.. AMERICA ...

Moving to Arizona...

May 30th: Just moved to Arizona. Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. However, getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th: Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th: I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery. The car now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts. I'm gonna kill the next guy that says; but it's a dry heat! Yeah, so's a freakin' oven!

July 30th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th: It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature all the way down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th: If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th: Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, Hot enough for you today? My sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freakin' Arizona. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.

The Wedding!

There was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.

After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.

He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's family & to especially thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was an envelope. He stressed that this was his gift to everyone, & asked them to open their envelope.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8 x 10 glossy of his bride having sex with his best friend, the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier & had hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to his best man & said, "Fuck you!" Then he turned to his bride & said, "Fuck you!"

Then he turned back to the dumbfounded crowd & said, "I'm outta here."

He had the marriage annulled first thing the following morning.

While most people would have canceled the Wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge--making the bride' s parents pay over $32,000 for a 300+ guest wedding & reception, & best of all, trashing the bride's & his best man's reputations in front of 300+ friends & family members.

This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think we might get a Master Card "PRICELESS" commercial out of this?


Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members & friends: $32,000...
Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000...
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500...
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping his best man: Priceless...
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD!